Monday, May 4, 2009 //i'm the rockstar 12:35 AM
its just.. complicated
sometimes, i can't see myself anymore.
i'm somewhat lost. i dont know what i really want in life
i dont see the point of doing things that i'm doing currently.
after studying in BIT for 2 weeks, i've came to a conclusion that it really aint the thing for me, i dont like business, neither do i like IT. i'm always thinking that i would be happier if i'm in chinese studies, chinese media, early childhood or community service & i know i would be cause thats my area of interest. i know i would be paying much more attention in class, cause its my passion. comparing to business. which is totally not my cup of tea. yes, i'm regretting. alot. but theres nth much i can do about it already. accept the fate that i've fallen into this. and therefore the only way i can see out of this "i dont like my future work" is to succeed in very singer (非常歌手) i'm left with no other choice, currently.
but sadly, the exams for verysinger isaround the corner, and my poor voice have yet to recover, my stage fright is still there. i still can't sing properly on stage. i cant sing infront of many ppl yet. yes, i need ppl to practice with. ughhh!
i feel terrible at times, but i feel guilty for feeling terrible. cmon, tell me what is this.i'm suppose to be strong, to be firm, to be happy. not j. i'm suppose to smile and not look dead. betty chan, i know you know whats the best solution for everyone, so please continue doing what you're doing, stop getting affected, isolation! be happy!
